wat bout pragnant strippers??
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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