we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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