im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
