I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
