I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
