4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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