Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
