I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
