My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
