Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
