I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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