3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
