I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize