dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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