Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
