I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just had sex bonerless
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You made out with two different species that night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
