Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
