she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
