I can tuck mytits in my pants
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Randomize
