i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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