but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
