I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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