I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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