we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
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Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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