"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
