Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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