PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
