I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
