I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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