idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
