so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
