Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs