I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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