Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
