i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
