alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
