So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
