The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
