He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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