put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
