This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
