hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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