how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
