He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
3 2 1 whiskey
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize