It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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