i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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