She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
