have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im six kinds of drunk right now
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
