I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 words: hood of his car
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize