he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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