my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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