i jhust puked up my retainher.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How external is "for external use only"?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
