You work out of a Hotel?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's shark week go big or go home
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
