Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you still trying to smash that chick?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober

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  (248): you still trying to smash that chick? (1-248): it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober http://tfl.nu/22ty
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?

  (408): View more from California

  oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no

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  (480): I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy? (408): oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no http://tfl.nu/w6ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1186) Bad night (3207)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

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  (724): I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance http://tfl.nu/0lmn
  Replies (8) Good night (3265) Bad night (617)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  As in ill only blow him next week

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  (403): I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow (403): As in ill only blow him next week http://tfl.nu/dd9t
  Replies (14) Good night (3124) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?

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  (801): Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman? http://tfl.nu/4t4b
  Replies (9) Good night (3700) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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  (847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy
  Replies (6) Good night (3637) Bad night (890)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.

  (747): View more from California

  Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.

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  (256): I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks. (747): Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either. http://tfl.nu/6mbq
  Replies (22) Good night (3950) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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  (845): Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?" http://tfl.nu/78br
  Replies (12) Good night (589) Bad night (1982)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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  (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. http://tfl.nu/412l
  Replies (5) Good night (1997) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again

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  (978): No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again http://tfl.nu/wayk
  Replies (1) Good night (888) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.

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  (+61): I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in. http://tfl.nu/ilgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3028) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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  (515): You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it. http://tfl.nu/eptf
  Replies (6) Good night (1985) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Is cereal technically a soup?

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck, I'm high.

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  (310): Is cereal technically a soup? (310): Fuck, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/od51
  Replies (9) Good night (1467) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.

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  (701): I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y1uj
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (287)

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