Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

(650): View more from California

I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

Fav 28 2193 1239
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

Fav 8 2333 1700
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

Fav 12 5339 1330
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

Fav 25 1485 5028
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

Fav 21 4501 1343
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.

Fav 20 4860 1220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(432): View more from Texas

then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.

Fav 33 5774 1576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(931): View more from Tennessee

In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure

Fav 2 852 534
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.

Fav 2 620 351
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT