if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."