If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
