he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
