the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
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