scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
