I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
