do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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