I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
sarcasm needs its own font
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize