Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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