I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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