Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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