Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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