i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
