Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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